Somewhere
by futureMrsCriss
Summary: "somewhere there's a place for us." rachel confronts shelby about what she did to her. not very coherent since their whole storyline is kinda confuzzling...please R&R!


Shelchel - Somewhere

Rating: T

Rachel berry knew her family was different. She knew that it wasn't in all families that you would have two father's. She knew that well to the point where she pondered why she had no mother. She was used to having only dad's but without a female role model in her childhood, she felt empty inside.

Shelby corcoran was doubting whether her choices in life were right or not. After leaving Julliard to become a show choir teacher was one of those doubts. But her biggest? It was giving up her precious baby girl. She always wanted a baby girl, one to call her own. But shelby knew, as soon as her baby was born, that she wasn't going to be able to provide for the little miracle. So she did what any good mother would do, and she gave up her one and only child.

after having spent a minute or two with shelby in the auditorium the other day, rachel had mixed emotions all week. Her mother had disappeared for a year and when she suddenly comes back with the baby of her friend...there was simply no single emotion for rachel to feel at that time. Gladness, anger, confusion, sadness...all of those mixed together made rachel even more confused and irritated. So she did what she did best: confrontation...well, maybe not best.

shelby corcoran was sitting in her office, trying to recover from a pounding headache that sugar motta gave her. She was nowhere near recovery before -

''ms corcoran?''

she looked up and saw the sad face of her daughter.

''rachel, we've been through this. You can call me shelby.'' the teacher smiled at the petite girl.

''i prefer not...last time i called you that you left and never came back,'' rachel frowned. So did her mother.

''look, rachel, i know what this is about. And, i'm sorry. For leaving you, first when you were just a little baby in my arms and two years ago.''

''i understand why you left me the first time - i probably would've done the same - but what i don't get is why you...just left like that, without even so much as a goodbye.''

''rachel, please try to understand this from my perspective,'' shelby begged. ''i missed so much of your life, so many of your milestones, i felt terrible and i couldn't stay and watch. I wanted to find you and be all motherly with you but i know that it would never be the same.''

''because you're my mother but you're not my mom.'' she finished. ''yes, we've established that long ago. But why! You knew how emotionally fragile i was and how i still am, and yet you keep coming back and i don't know how long you're gonna stay this time or if you're just gonna run out on me again!'' at this point, rachel was wailing like a child, tears flowing down her cheek.

''rachel, i -''

''no!'' she shouted. ''you've told your part, now it's my turn!'' shelby all but accepted the action, nodding for her daughter to continue. ''do you know, how many sleepless night's i've had when i was a child - hell, even nowadays! - do you know how miserable i was? Whenever i went out shopping for clothes with my dad's, i would always see other little girls, happily with their mommy's! I had two father's - and don't get me wrong, i fully support the LGBT community but - it wasn't the same! As much as they tried to be, they weren't a mommy for me! They never were and they never are going to be! And when i finally found out that you were my mother, i was just...so, so freakin happy. I thought you would actually be glad to know me. But you said, and i quote, 'this is all wrong!'. You said it was all wrong! What was so wrong with meeting me? You were the one who told jesse to persuade me to find my mother, and when i meet you, you freak out and say you would call me - but you never did. There were 3 sleepless night's right there. 3 night's without sleep because i was waiting for a call from you to tell me when to meet and catch up.

But...nothing. You left me hanging! If there really was a time and place for us, then it should've been much, much earlier. Because you know what, shelby, now i'm extremely damaged and i'm still incomplete! Because the first people you saw when you got back was quinn and puck. Do you know, how freakin depressed i was to hear that my mother wanted to speak to those two first? They aren't even your children and you still had to see them first!'' rachel was crying endlessly and she didn't know how to stop. It made all the guilt go back to shelby, about leaving her daughter once as a baby and a second time when she was all grown up. She was fighting back tears. ''shelby, you don't know what you've done to me.''

''GOD DAMMIT RACHEL!'' shelby shouted suddenly. ''i understand that i was wrong to leave you, alright? But i had no choice -''

''the first time maybe but when i finally found you? What was your reason for that?''

shelby scoffed. ''don't you understand rachel -''

''no, actually i don't because my mother keeps leaving me without an actual -''

''let me finish!'' the teacher shouted once again. ''do you know why, i wanted to find you two years ago? I wanted to find my baby girl. But i realized it was too late for that. So i left and decided to leave you because it was for the best.''

''for the best? Almost sending me to therapy was for the best?''

''i'll admit that i didn't leave accordingly, okay? But do you know why i adopted beth?''

''because you wanted a baby girl.''

''exactly. But not just any baby girl. I wanted my baby girl, my daughter, i wanted her back. So beth was the next best thing. You are why i adopted beth.''

rachel couldn't stop her tears. They were at full force, now that she realized that beth was only a replacement for herself. ''in fact, i found that i actually called beth, rachel on a few ocassions, and it crushed me each time to know that...she wasn't you.'' shelby never let herself cry. Ever. But this was the one time in 18 years that she let tears drop. ''i have missed 18 years of your life, rachel, and it kills me to know that i am too late for you.''

rachel was standing with her head down, silently crying. And shelby just couldn't take it anymore. The show choir director stood up and wrapped her arms around her daughter.

''i'm sorry, rachel.'' she whispered into the girl's ear. ''i'm sorry for all the pain i caused you over the years. I'm sorry for not trying to find you sooner. And i promise you, i'm not going away any time soon. And if i do - even if i go out of town for the weekend - i promise to at least text you. And i fully understand if you hate me, but i will always be your mother, and i will always love you.''

rachel nodded into shelby's shoulder. ''i love you too,'' she looked up through her sobs and added one final word. ''mom.''

shelby smiled down at her daughter. When they broke apart, rachel nodded and started to walk out the door.

''and rachel?'' shelby stopped her.

She turned around. ''yeah?''

''what song did you audition with?''

rachel smiled. ''you know, even if you weren't talking about the song - somewhere there really is a place for us.'' that was all shelby needed to hear. She grinned, wiping away the tears that slid down her cheek, and watched her daughter walk away. It was goodbye. For now, but most definitely not forever.

THE END


End file.
